A Tiny Christmas

When December rolled around, I felt that I would mostly ignore the holiday, letting it pass by without much enthusiasm. I'm sure this is in part due to the dip that Alex took on Thanksgiving. But as he has very slowly improved and gotten bigger (2 lbs 12 oz, and 15 inches!) I've come to be happy in the fact that even though I won't have a Christmas like I would usually love to create with lots of holiday treats, a big Christmas tree, caroling parties, etc., we have our baby, and everything we need to make this season a beautiful one, and one to remember. I mean, look at this little guy!

In this picture, Alex had been smiling so much for us. He had had his diaper changed, had a new holder for his tube put on his face, and was all cleaned up. Often he will have his eyes closed when we're messing with him, but will often wake up once he gets snuggled back into his little bed. This evening he was particularly awake, and smiled not just a little for Steven and I. He was completely responding to our voices and our presence by his bedside, and smiled over and over again. Never have I felt more happy. You can see in this picture the beginning of one of those great big, tiny smiles.

Last week ended well for Alex. There was a bacteria identified from a blood culture that required another antibiotic, and as he improved from that, he was also given a steroid. The hope with this was that it would give his lungs the boost they need to be able to wean him down from the Oscillator, and switch him over to the Vapotherm (which goes off of a nasal cannula instead of a tube into his lungs). The steroid did a lot of good for him, and he switched to the Vapotherm on Saturday evening. It took him awhile that evening to get used to the idea that he needed to breathe on his own again. It can be scary for Steven and I to watch when he forgets to breathe and his heart-rate drops. and needs to be stimulated to breathe again, but we're learning that this is normal for a preemie, and over time he'll be okay on his own. We're so grateful for fantastic nurses and doctors who take care of our baby and keep him alive day to day. How do you express gratitude for such a service?

Tonight he was switched to a different machine, since the Vapotherm wasn't offering him quite enough support. He still has a nasal cannula, but the machine is a bit more aggressive and will help him when he forgets to breathe on his own.

Ever since Alex was born he's been on a Merry-Go-Round with machines to find the one that will help him the most, and that changes periodically. The important thing for us is to realize that things can change with him very quickly, and while hoping for the best, we need to understand that he'll have many setbacks. It has definitely been an exciting few days for us, to see him without a giant tube holder covering his mouth, and to see him enjoy moving his head around, instead of being stuck in one place from the rigid tube. Our little man has gotten so big, and even chubby! He's looking and acting more and more like a normal baby, just by his positions and the way he sucks on his feeding tubes. His cheeks are getting chubby and square, and it's so adorable.

The best part of our Christmas season thus far has been decorating Alex's area of the NICU. He's got his little tree and most importantly, a nativity that Steven made, and a stocking made by me. We're so happy to be able to start our family traditions with baby Alex.

The parent support team at the NICU made an ornament for us out of Alex's footprints. He had an IV in his left foot at the time, so they carefully un-taped the bottom of his foot in order to get the footprint.

I still can't believe how big he's getting. Even his footprints look huge to me now, from where they were six weeks ago.

We continue every day to pray and pray for Alex. He has taught me how to have faith in ways I never knew.